On my journey to overcoming anxiety, I would spend hours diving into happiness rabbit holes. I was trying to build an understanding or framework of what happiness really was and how it worked.

I remember one evening diving deep into positive psychology when I came across a video that opened my eyes. It gave me incredible clarity of how my ideas of life and success had at one time been a huge driving factor behind the issues I had experienced.

One of the major causes of anxiety is how you subconsciously see yourself in the world. How do you measure up to other people? How well are you living up to the standard society creates? 

You may think these things don't bother you, that you're not concerned by what others think but subconsciously you are. We all are. As we discussed in the article on subconscious psychological human needs, every human being is hardwired to care about their position in their 'tribe'. 

Most marketing in the western world is based on this need. The need to fit in. Big businesses run commercials that agitate this need to such a degree many people, consciously or unconsciously, base every decision they make on how other people will perceive them. (This is one of the reasons why research has found cutting down TV and social media time leads to rapid increases in self-esteem and life satisfaction.)

It is installed in you so early, your brain assumes this is the game you have to play in order to fit in. Focusing on living up to your potential and growing as a human being is incredibly beneficial when it comes to your mental wellbeing. The problem occurs when your results only mean something when they are validated by the opinion of others. This is a race you can't possibly win.

They're poisonous because subconsciously you feel your results are always at risk. You have to be perfect 24/7. Subconsciously you believe one slip could be the end of you, you're out of the tribe.

The video I mentioned earlier showcases this perfectly. This fantastic animation by Steve Cutts gives a clear picture of how a rat, trapped by the dogma of modern society, is stuck trying to gain 'Happiness' by improving its status. Watch it quickly and we'll continue discussing it in 4 minutes...

The best way to break away from this anxiety-producing belief is to change your mind's focus. By default it will focus on where it is lacking, 'I can't afford this house. I don't have that body. I don't have those experiences.' 

Reducing your exposure to these messages will make a big difference. But one of my favourite methods is to gradually refocus your mind towards the positive aspects of your life. What good things happen during the day? In what ways have you grown as a person lately? What aspects of life do you truly love? What amazing experiences have you had in the past?

If you spend just a few minutes each day asking yourself questions like these your brain will soon do it automatically. Imagine the difference you will feel when instead of thinking, 'how am I not living up to society's standard?' you start thinking, 'what am I really looking forward to this week?' The shift in your emotions is shocking.

No matter what other people have told you or how long you have suffered from anxiety, you can overcome it. All you need is the right guidance. 

If you would like to see just how powerful this can be, there is currently a special offer on the 30-Day Challenge whereby you can follow week 1 which is all about refocusing your mind. It will take away all of the guesswork. All you have to do is find a few minutes each day, for 7 days, to complete specific exercises that are proven in scientific studies (and by my clients) to significantly improve anxiety and all-around mental wellbeing.